Helping someone we care about feels good. We feel useful and connected when we support people we love.
Why, then, are we so reluctant to let others help us?
Often, we believe that if we ask for help, or even allow others to volunteer support, we will be a burden. We think we should be able to handle our problems on our own. We believe that putting our own needs ahead of someone else’s makes us selfish. We might even think we do not deserve to be taken care of.
However, if we dig a little deeper, we might realize that these beliefs do not serve us.
Why would we push someone away when we could take the opportunity to feel more connected by allowing someone to witness our vulnerability?
Why would we choose to go it alone when we could take an opportunity to be loved by someone?
Why would we choose to feel unworthy when we could take an opportunity to feel deserving?
If you have ever taken care of a loved one when they needed it, you know that it feels good to demonstrate how much you love someone by taking care of them. It feels good to be needed and useful.
Just as taking care of someone is an act of love, so too is allowing someone to take care of you.
Having a strong support system is a key resilience factor. Giving and receiving support is the basis of a healthy, balanced support system.
The next time someone offers you a little assistance, ask yourself what is preventing you from accepting their support. Then ask if that belief is enhancing your relationships—and your life—or causing you to miss an opportunity to connect and share the love.
Then accept the support—for them and for yourself.
The conversation is the relationship.When you have good conversations with your kids, you have good relationships with your kids.
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