Helping someone we care about feels good. We feel useful and connected when we support people we love.
Why, then, are we so reluctant to let others help us?
Often, we believe that if we ask for help, or even allow others to volunteer support, we will be a burden. We think we should be able to handle our problems on our own. We believe that putting our own needs ahead of someone else’s makes us selfish. We might even think we do not deserve to be taken care of.
However, if we dig a little deeper, we might realize that these beliefs do not serve us.
Why would we push someone away when we could take the opportunity to feel more connected by allowing someone to witness our vulnerability?
Why would we choose to go it alone when we could take an opportunity to be loved by someone?
Why would we choose to feel unworthy when we could take an opportunity to feel deserving?
If you have ever taken care of a loved one when they needed it, you know that it feels good to demonstrate how much...
What is the extent to which your child can take feedback and use it to grow better, stronger, and happier?
A lot of people (grownups included) get offended and defensive when they get feedback. They shut down. They interpret the feedback as an attack on their character or as an indication that they are failing.
But resilient people use feedback as an opportunity to discover ways to live up to their potential. Though hearing criticisms is never easy, and everyone gets defensive every now and then, resilient people learn to evaluate feedback, asking such questions as:
Resilient people know that being imperfect and/or failing is a part of life—at least for those who are willing to get in the game. Instead of wallowing in their failures and imperfections, they learn from them and turn them into...
Some activities make us feel empowered, strong, and happy. Others drain us. And it might seem obvious which activities are which, but sometimes, you will find that you are surprisingly disempowered or drained by activities you initially engaged in to feel relaxed.
Here are two examples: Watching television and spending time on social media.
If you watch television to relax, make sure that you haven't started watching shows that make you feel anxious. For example, I stopped watching the nightly news years ago because I found it depressing and anxiety-producing. Now I get my news from other sources that do not make me feel so disempowered.
If you spend time on social media to feel connected, make sure you aren’t engaging in arguments that leave you feeling disconnected or angry. Some people thrive on political discourse, for example, and there is nothing wrong with that. But pay attention to whether your time on social media leaves you feeling empowered or disempowered. If you...
Very often in life, our success is not based on what we know or how we go about implementing our plans, it is based on who we know.
When we have the right people doing the right thing on our teams, we can work harder and smarter, and we have a better chance of reaching our goals.
But often, it can be uncomfortable to ask for help. We don't reach out to people who can help us because we don't want to be a burden and because we think we should be able to handle things on our own.
And while certainly, we should not expect the people in their lives to sacrifice themselves and run to our rescue at every turn, we should expect that the people in our lives love us and want to help us.
Even acquaintances want to help us. Supporting someone feels good. It gives us a sense of purpose and reminds us that we add value to the world.
But asking for help requires practice. Sometimes, we need to be reminded that there are people out there who could help us, if only we would....