Often, when our relationships end, we feel so awful and emotionally exhausted that extricating ourselves from the situation with a modicum of dignity intact is all we can muster.
However, we can turn even the worst relationships into valuable lessons if we "mine" them.
Mining a relationship is the process of considering what you learned from it and extracting the lessons you will use going forward.
Every relationship—whether it is with a friend, a partner, or a boss— gives us valuable information about who we are, what we value, and how we want our future relationships to be.
When we ask the right questions, we can find the value in even the worst relationships:
"How did the relationship make you feel emotionally, and how do you want to feel in future relationships?"
"Did that relationship bring out any behavior on your part that you would rather not repeat?"
"What needs were not getting met?"
"What values were not being lived?"
"What strengths were you not using in that relationship?"
"If you had to sum up who you were in this relationship in one sentence, what would it be?"
"Who do you want to be in future relationships?"
No relationship is ever a complete failure unless we fail to learn from it.
So, mine your past relationships and use that knowledge to create better-feeling, healthier relationships in the future.
The conversation is the relationship.When you have good conversations with your kids, you have good relationships with your kids.
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