One of the things I hear quite often from therapy clients is that they don’t like being alone with their own thoughts. This causes them to busy themselves as much as possible as a distraction from the unpleasant background chatter in their minds.
Distraction is a valuable tool… sometimes. However, it doesn’t work as a long-term solution for avoiding unwanted thoughts. In fact, the more we try not to think about something, the bigger it seems to get. The paradox is that the way to quiet negative rumination is to lean into it–make space for it–instead of trying to push it away.
The skill of sitting with whatever is going on in your mind and body is one of the most powerful resilience skills of all. Why? Because it fosters self-awareness and self-control.
When we learn to sit and observe our inner world without needing to change anything in the present moment we gain valuable information about what we can do to take care of ourselves and we open a channel of communication with an inner source of wisdom and peace.
How do we do this?
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
Notice whatever you notice…
What THOUGHTS come up?
What’s going on in your BODY?
Do you feel any EMOTIONS?
Do you have any impulses to DO anything?
Notice whatever you notice for as long as you are interested. If it’s 5 seconds the first time, so be it. If it’s 30 the next, fantastic! If you make it a daily practice, you will transform your life.
The more you build the skill of mindfulness in quiet moments, the more it will serve you in crisis moments as well. You will feel more centered and calm, and you will be more self-aware and better-equipped to make good decisions and take care of yourself no matter the circumstance.