Here’s the thing: We all get triggered.
Even those of us who look like we have complete control of our emotions have those moments in time when our switches get flipped.
I’m not talking about times when someone is disrespectful and we are justifiably angry. I’m referring to those times when we overreact and can’t let it go. When our reaction feels like it’s about much more than what’s happening in the present moment.
The term “triggered” was originally used in the world of psychology to refer to symptoms of PTSD. So, if anyone reading this experiences those kinds of triggers, I recommend seeking professional support.
Using the word triggered for non-trauma related, intense emotional reactions has become commonplace, and that’s what I’m talking about here. If you think about it, you likely have a handful of things you get triggered about–that are the same every time. Often, our triggers can cause problems in our relationships, because the people on the receiving end of our overreactions feel mistreated by us.
Here’s what to do when that happens: After you’ve taken some time to calm down. Grab something to write with, sit in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed, take a few deep, relaxing breaths, and finish this sentence:
When I was triggered, I was feeling (name the emotions) because… (finish the sentence).
Then allow yourself to write for three minutes. It sounds like a lot, but if you give yourself permission to let it flow and keep writing for three minutes you’ll uncover a bunch of stuff from the past that is seeping into the present.
Then ask yourself: What has all of this caused me to believe about myself?
What we often find behind our triggers are negative beliefs about ourselves. They come from past experiences and we usually don’t even realize they are there. Uncovering them allows us to shine a light of self-compassion on them. Our newfound self-awareness allows us to respond to future situations with more understanding and control.
So, explore the beliefs behind your triggers, practice self-compassion, and notice how much better you feel.