Taking in feedback and using it constructively without getting defensive is not easy.
For many, feedback feels like failure. They believe it means they have done something wrong, not lived up to their potential, and are somehow inadequate.
But feedback is the way we learn and grow and evolve.
And receiving feedback is a critical interpersonal skill–one that helps in all our relationships, personal and professional.
If you really want to improve your life, open yourself up to feedback about ways you come across to others that you might not realize. Ask someone who loves you to tell you about your blindspots.
Maybe you are shy, but you come across as arrogant.
Perhaps you are reserved, but you come across as aloof.
Possibly you are exuberant, but it comes across as overwhelming.
The goal is not necessarily for you to change, but knowing that you are perceived as different from how you intend is valuable information.
So, have the courage to seek feedback, and do with it what you will. Ignore it, if that feels right.
Be careful, though. Not everyone is a safe person to ask for feedback from. You want to seek feedback from people who love you unconditionally and truly have your best interests at heart.
If you have someone like that in your life, ask them this question:
What is one piece of feedback you could give me that could improve my life in some way?