There’s a funny thing about beliefs… we think we believe things because they are true. But often, it’s just the opposite. Things are true because we believe them.
This is because our beliefs color the way we see the world such that we only see evidence that supports what we already believe. We don’t even see contradictory evidence, or if we see it, we disregard it.
Most of us understand the concept of confirmation bias, but even so, we have blind spots–usually around our core beliefs–and this turns those beliefs into self-fulfilling prophecies:
If you believe people take advantage of you, you will look for actions to interpret accordingly and overlook the ways people are generous with you.
If you believe the world is stacked against you, you will keep score of all the bad luck you encounter and ignore the serendipities that happen too.
If you believe people don’t value you, you will fixate on moments when you feel slighted and overlook the times people respect and support you.
So, when you notice a pattern where you keep getting an unwanted outcome in your life, work backwards to identify the belief it is “proving,” and consider that the belief might actually be the problem.
Then, look for evidence of beliefs with better outcomes. It’s not easy to find evidence for contradictory beliefs, because it’s breaking a habit built on years of evidence. But it certainly can be done. And it’s well worth the effort.
You can always find evidence for beliefs with better outcomes, if you’re disciplined about looking and telling a different story. And it’s actually remarkable how quickly the better-feeling story can spiral into better-feeling outcomes.
Not sure you believe me? Try it for yourself by considering these questions:
What is an outcome you keep getting in your life? What belief does it support, and what is a better-feeling belief you could look for evidence for instead?