Consider the messages that kids get about “controlling” their emotions …
Before they can truly be in control of their emotions, though, kids need to learn something that most adults don’t even know ...
They need to know what causes their emotions.
Most of us think the situation causes an emotion. If we are bored, for instance, we think it is because we are stuck in our homes and forced to social distance.
But the truth is that it is not the situation that causes us to suffer. It is our thoughts about the situation that cause us to suffer.
Let me repeat that: Our thoughts cause our emotions.
For example, imagine that your friend snaps at you.
If you think, “Wow, my friend must be having a bad day. This situation is tough, and we are all having a hard time,” you will likely feel compassion.
But if you think “Wow, my friend can be a real jerk, and I’m sick of her attitude,” you will likely feel angry, frustrated, and impatient.
So, it is not the fact that your friend snapped at you that caused your emotion; it is your thought about it.
When your children understand this piece of emotional intelligence, they can build on it.
They can learn how to:
We teach all of these skills (and more) in Resilience-Based Parenting™, our 52-skill toolkit for raising resilient kids.
We hope you will join us by enrolling today! In the meantime, check out this activity that will help you teach this concept to your children.
The conversation is the relationship.When you have good conversations with your kids, you have good relationships with your kids.
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