The #1 Resilience Habit You Should Develop Today

resilience self efficacy Dec 14, 2020

The most important habit you can develop to become more resilient is this: Practice resilience. 

Resilience isn’t really something that you are. It’s something that you do over and over again as a habit.

  • Are you in the habit of paying attention to how people make you feel, and then spending time with people who make you feel good? 
  • Are you in the habit of paying attention to how your mood changes depending on what you are focused on? 
  • Are you in the habit of examining the thoughts that cause your emotions and choosing the most empowering thoughts that you have evidence for? 
  • When you notice that you are upset about something, are you in the habit of asking yourself the most important question of all: “What do I need to feel better that is within my control?” 

We all move in and out of resilience cycles. Sometimes we feel empowered. Sometimes we feel disempowered. 

The difference is this: The people who make resilience a habit come out of disempowered cycles faster. They have practiced resilience skills many times, and they have established patterns of behavior and habits of thought that stack the deck in their favor. 

They do little things that add up. For instance, they stop listening to the news when it makes them feel disempowered. They protect the 15-minute daily rituals that feed their soul. They don’t say “yes” when “no” is a better answer. They lean in the direction of interpreting people positively. They go for a run when they are starting to feel triggered. They communicate with the people in their lives about their own needs. 

Resilience is not just one big thing. It is the result of many little things—skills, beliefs, and behaviors—that with practice become habits and become a mindset. Resilience is a choice, or more accurately, a series of choices.

The secret to resilience? Practice the little skills, beliefs, and behaviors. They add up. 

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